Professor Robert J. Sternberg developed the idea that love was made of three different components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. When he combined the elements in various ways, he created eight types of love. He believed because we are subjected to numerous love stories throughout our lives that it created a ladder of high expectations.
Intimacy is having the ability to confide in someone even if there is a fear of rejection. If mistakes are made, or if there are disagreements in the relationship, the person is still forgiving and open-minded. A comfortable friendship lies within intimacy.
Intense feelings of physical and sexual attraction come from passion. This side of love may have a combination of apprehension and uncertainty due to the belief that the feelings may not be reciprocated. In the beginning of a relationship, the level of passion may be so high that you do not recognize the other person's faults. However, once they surpass the "getting to know each other" stage the passion may slowly fade away.
When two people decide to make a commitment to one another, they should be willing to make sacrifices for each other. Commitment means being dedicated in doing things to foster the relationship and protect it from becoming damaged. They make the decision to make necessary efforts to maintain their love.
Listed below are various types of love and how they are defined by Sternberg:
1. Liking: Relying on someone without having passion or commitment. You are able to be open and honest with this person. It can be similar to a doctor/patient relationship.
2. Infatuation: Having passion for one another, but lacking commitment and intimacy. This type of "love" usually happens with a crush.
3. Empty Love: There is a commitment, but an absence of passion and intimacy.
4. Fatuous Love: High altitudes of compassion and commitment, but low levels of intimacy.
5. Compassionate Love: Having a commitment with high levels of intimacy, but not on a sexual level. This is the type of love that exists in platonic friendships.
6. Consummate Love: This is what many people refer to as the love of all loves because euphoric levels of passion, commitment, and intimacy are what makes this love so powerful. Happy marriages are built from this type of love.
7. Non-Love: Having absolutely no sense of compassion, feelings of intimacy, or desire for commitment toward another person.
8. Romantic Love: This type of love is a combination of both passion and intimacy.
Everyone has their own definition of love, and it varies according to the type of relationship you have with that person. Certainly, the love you carry for a friend is different than the love you feel for your spouse. Researching Sternberg's triangular theory of love made me wonder, when it comes love, at which level do we love someone and and at which level are we being loved in return. It's crucial to consider these things when making decisions that can affect your future, things such as marriage.
Source: http://www.20vn.com/wedding/love-in-a-triangular-theory-672.htm
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